My Grandfather - Haji Abdullah bin Haji Omar

my grandfather

Jumaat, Disember 25, 2009
Haji Abdullah bin Haji Omar


Yesterday,I could not sleep.I could not stop thinking about my late Tok Wan. He passed away when I was in Standard 5.It was the saddest moment in my life and no matter how much I try, the wound will never heal. I was so young and my heart was completely broken.

He was a great man. He was smart, he was caring, and he loved my sister and I so much. I still cannot forget him, sitting in front of the television, and his happy face when he saw us when we came to his house during weekends.

I used to be so retarded and I always ask stupid questions (still do). One day at Batu Gajah, I was writing something, and I asked my Tok Wan, what year was he born? He told me he was born in the year 37. I asked him, is it in 19th or 20th century? Well, I was still young, and I thought older people were born in 19th century.

At his house, he always recited Al-Quran in the evenings. My sister and I always came to him and listened to him reciting the Quran. His sounded so good reciting the Quran, that I wish I could recite like him. And even now, I cannot forget his advice, "Bila Ira ngan Hanis takut, baca 4 Qul, and kalau baca, hantu sume takut, dorang takkan kacau dah"..It will work, and all you need to do is to believe.

I looked at pictures taken when I was still a baby, there's a lot of them. Quite a few albums. Mom told me that my Tok Wan at that time loved taking pictures of me. He was so excited being a grandfather, as I was his first grandchild. I smiled at Hanis, who's obviously not satisfied as there aren't many pictures of her as she's the second. Whatever, she said. "Wan sayang Hanis lagi,pasal Hanis lagi pandai jawi" . Now, it's my turn to say, "whatever!". Because in my heart, I know he loves both of us equally.

The day he died is still fresh in my mind. My sister and I were preparing ourselves to go to some kenduri when mom got an emergency call from the hospital. Mom and my Opah rushed to the hospital, but they said, things will be okay. I still remember that something told me that something was wrong and I better prepare myself. Yeah, my dad got a call from my mom, she told us that Tok Wan was gone, forever.

And now, I'm full of regret. I regret that he didn't get the chance to see how well I've done. I regret that he didn't get the chance to see that I got 5A's in my UPSR,I regret that he isn't here to listen to me telling him about my high school life, the craziness in my life, the competition I had in my class. And I regret not saying goodbye. And that's why, until now, I will never, ever forgive myself.

I love you Wan, I will always love you.


(syahirah hazidi-generasi ke-5)